Time for the divorced slice of the survey. It’s minor in size compared to the whole survey takers, but I’m sure it’s major in terms of life and marriage lessons it considers and provides.
The divorced represent 6% of the whole takers:
- 1 female in her 20s
- 2 males (one in his 30s and the other is over 50)
Here are the questions they took..
HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN MARRIED?
We have diversity:
- 8 months
- 9 years
- 25 years (4 different partners)
HOW DID YOU KNOW YOUR PARTNER?
2 gave traditional ways
1st – neighbor
2nd – work
3rd – friend
4th – arranged marriage
WOULD YOU CONSIDER YOUR PARTNER WAS YOUR DREAM GUY/GIRL?
- 2 said no
- 1 said one of them was
HOW DID YOU THINK OF MARRIAGE BEFORE TAKING THE STEP, AND HOW DO YOU THINK OF IT NOW?
- The same, should be a partnership relation between two people.
- One of the marriages was in revenge, by marrying my ex-girlfriend’s nemesis. One was to have children. Only one was because I was hopelessly in love. Now, I think it is a failed institution.
- I was thinking that marriage is a romantic relation easy going one.. full of sharing and love including problems, fights for sure but life goes on, but now i can see that marriage is a relation which it’s very hard to keep the love between two (if it exists in the first place) elements such as boredom or limitations can easily end love also a very important matter.. intimacy.. this thing is very important between couples and in such communities like ours you can’t know about it before marriage..
DID THAT IDEA CHANGE WITH YOUR EXPERIENCE? WERE YOU IN ANY WAY DISAPPOINTED?
They’re all Disappointed.
IF YOU CAN GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU DODGE? WHAT WOULD YOU REDO? WHY?
- 2 said their mistake is not picking a better partner.
- 1 said it’s taking their partner for granted.
HOW CRUCIAL IS LOVE TO MARRIAGE?
They all agreed that love is very crucial.
WHAT WERE YOUR REASONS FOR GETTING MARRIED? AND WHY THIS PERSON?
- One said it’s essentially about basic needs (belonging – love – sex). They didn’t choose their ex partner though, they have been chosen. (It’s the female)
- One said fate has a lot to do with it.
- One thought they loved their partner
WERE YOU SATISFIED WITH YOUR SEXUAL LIFE?
They were not.
THEY SAY MARRIAGE IS LIKE A WATERMELON. DO YOU AGREE? HOW SO?
They all agreed.
- One can never fully (or partially) plan a married life.
- There is a very important element to test before marriage, it’s intimacy and sexual harmony between the couple.
WHAT DO THINK ARE THE REASONS WHY DIVORCE RATES ARE VERY HIGH THESE DAYS?
- People become more open minded these days and don’t give a thing about how the society is dealing their behaviors.
- Women are more financially independent these days.
- People do not think carefully before saying ” I Do”
WHEN DO YOU KNOW MARRIAGE DOES NOT WORK ANYMORE?
- When hate is persistent.
- When your partner stop loving and respecting you.
DO YOU BELIEVE THERE ARE PRE-MARRIAGE FAILURE INDICATIONS? EXPLAIN.
One believes it doesn’t work that way every time.
2 said yes and their elaboration:
- Hasty marriage, love-only based marriage, opposites attract is an illusion.
- But less life experience and sometimes emotional relation between two prevent them to see disadvantages in each other
KEEPING A MARRIAGE IS QUITE A CHALLENGE, WHAT KEEPS THE MARRIAGE GOING?
- Trying to kill boredom from time to time
- Love, respect, ethics
IF YOU HAVE AN ADVICE TO GIVE TO SINGLE PEOPLE WHO WANT TO GET MARRIED, WHAT WOULD THAT BE?
- Do not rush
- Once love is there, treat it like a science project. Then, pray.