Sometimes I wonder how would human beings manage to function in life while being emotionally ill. Because it hurts everywhere, when I stand, when I talk, when I breathe and when I toss and turn at night.
Sometimes I wonder how people get away with crushing others. ‘Cause no matter where I go, I’d always feel like the not-good-enough. Even if I believe it in my heart that’s it’s not true, even if everyone in my life proves otherwise, on daily basis.
Sometimes it baffles me how inhumane humans can be, to force you to kill something that wasn’t meant to be killed. To make you bend and abide to rules that weren’t meant to be followed. But nothing really happened (we) did not want, it’s all series of choices we make to make up for the heartbreaks.
Sometimes it keeps me awake at night how despite everything they still glorifying the tyrants, how they keep making them more and more important and how they become more and more arrogant. But I say keep it up, keep pushing them too far until they fall, hard.
Sometimes I forget, but then you poke the beast awake, to remind me of all the pain that is still there, hidden somewhere deep where I can’t rid of my body. But for that I’m grateful, cause I haven’t forgiven and I’m not planning on it, any time soon.
Sometimes I stop. But I still wish you hell, I wish you taste the pain you’ve put me through, I wish that no one would ever save you. I wish you’d scream and no one would ever hear you, and I wish you’d know it’s all because of what you did to me.